I try to take over my sister’s many roles: car pool chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, gardener, errand runner, child entertainer. It is fun to step in and experience someone else’s life for a while. It is also instructive. The problem with Type A’s is that tasks which, for some people, are ‘nice to do’s’ become ‘must do’s’ for Type As. They go on a mental (or actual) list.
The problem with this mindset is that we operate under the (erroneous) assumption that our list will eventually be finished and we can rest. This is an illusion. There is always more to do. I see how I can drive Matt, my Type B husband, crazy. I am learning from him that there is a saner (and more restful) way to be. My concern is that my sister (like me) will work herself to death before she asks for help. I find her a post-partum doula so at least I can leaving knowing she has a safety net.
On weekends I take the boys and her two older kids (3, 6) to stay at their lake house. Matt comes up and we go on hikes with the kids, build fairy houses (a big thing in NH), kayak, swim, and build pirate ships. My mom comes up shortly after the twins arrive. After visiting with them for a while, she stays at the lake house with Joshua and Malachi while I help my sister back at home. The boys love my mom. She builds fairy houses with them and even plays Legos. My mom, a staunch Catholic, even finds ways to insert religion into Legos!.